Sunday, April 29, 2012

Simply Complex

Of all the places I've been in my life, the cutting edge of technology is not one of them.  From time to time, I stumble across an online survey that asks a question like, "are you a trendsetter among friends and family; someone who is always first to buy the newest electronics?"  On the rare occasion that I answer the question honestly, I have to admit that I'm usually the guy people look for when they have an outdated form of media and need some ancient, electronic relic on which to play it.  I have not one, but two VCRs.  My car has a cassette player.  I have two big screen TVs...unfortunately, the "big" dimension is depth, not width. And on those big-screen (deep-screen?) TVs, I receive a whopping five channels--exotic stations like CBS and ABC.

And, for the longest time, I was one of the last holdouts in America still walking around with a flip phone--a text-disabled flip phone, to be precise.  That's not to say I wasn't impressed with the iPhone.  It seemed like everyone around my had one, and I was consistently impressed with the things they could do with an iPhone.  But I could never justify the added monthly cost to tack a data plan onto my service.  Sure, an iPhone would be cool, but I already had an email and internet addiction at home; did I really need to spend money to take it on the road with me?



Yet by late fall, cracks started to appear in the anti-iPhone wall I'd built around myself.  Two things started to make me reconsider.  First, I could see the end of unlimited data plans on the horizon.  AT&T dropped it's unlimited data plans in 2010, then announced last summer that it would start throttling download speeds for its remaining unlimited data customers who had been grandfathered in.  Around the same time, Verizon, my carrier of choice, announced that it, too, was doing away with unlimited data for new customers.  That left Sprint as the only major remaining carrier offering unlimited data.  I was envious of my iPhone-using Verizon friends who would be grandfathered in...and I started to wonder how much time I had before Sprint, my last hope, axed unlimited data.


I started casually shopping, looking for a way to get a reasonably-priced unlimited data package.  Sprint was my main target, but after considering every possible angle--company discounts, joining a family plan with my parents, you name it--I couldn't find a way to get the monthly bill down to a price that I found acceptable.  Perhaps that was for the best...contrary to the company's name, I'd heard numerous complaints that Sprint's data speeds absolutely crawl.  I lost hope and decided I would stick with my flip phone until the bitter end.

And bitter it would be, because my desire to upgrade to an iPhone only grew stronger when Apple released the iPhone 4S.  A lot of die-hard Apple fans, expecting Apple to launch a spectacular new iPhone 5, were disappointed that the new version wasn't radically different than the iPhone 4, with some upgrades to standard features like an improved camera and faster processor.  Nevertheless, I was impressed, but I suppose it doesn't take much to impress a guy who's phone is pretty much just a phone.  The camera on the new 4S offered 8 megapixel resolution--better than my actual camera and a huge leap forward from the 1.3 megapixels on my flip phone.  The pressure was mounting, and a few more cracks formed in that wall...but I was still holding strong.



Then, out of nowhere, a random email showed up in my inbox and drove a bulldozer straight through that wall.  I almost deleted the email on the spot, mistaking it for spam, but it would change my cell phone future in a profound way.  I still don't know how she got my email address, but a Verizon sales rep sent the message, announcing a special deal offering an unlimited data package for a mere $20 a month.  I emailed back and forth with her about thirty-seven times just to make sure I there was no fine print, no catches, no traps.  This sounded way too good to be true--not only would I have a cheap unlimited data plan, but I'd even be able to stay with Verizon!  The wall was gone; I was getting an iPhone.


I went to Verizon's website to place my order.  I tried to take advantage of the Verizon trade-in program but was disappointed to learn that my Moto W755 flip phone had a trade-in value of exactly $0.00.  I also felt a little cheated that I didn't receive double the amount of Verizon's standard "New Every Two" discount since it had been at least four years since my last cell phone upgrade.  But I tried to dwell on the positive; after all, this was a day of celebration!


After a grueling six week wait thanks to an Apple back-order, the day finally arrived, and on December 3, 2011, I found myself in place I'd never been and would likely never find myself again: on the cutting edge of technology.  I immediately went out and purchased a case for the phone, and after considering a wide range of options, I went with the most industrial, heavy-duty, and expensive case on the market: Lifeproof.

The case is shock-proof, cold-proof, dust-proof, and most appealing of all, water-proof.  This thing is so tough that I never have to be away from my email--not even in the shower.  I was flattered to see that Lifeproof was already using my picture on their website:


Back in college, I dropped my Nokia Cinder Block 230 cell phone in the toilet.  As much as it pained me to reach in and fish that thing out (yes, it fell in after I'd used the toilet), the $200 price tag to buy a replacement hurt even more.  But I still wasn't going to buy insurance for the iPhone.  I don't know if Verizon even offers it, but if they do, I imagine it costs about as much as a homeowners' insurance policy.  The replacement cost of an iPhone is substantially higher than that of a Cinder Block 230, so I wasn't going to skimp on the case...it was going to serve double duty as my insurance policy.  Walking around with an $80 case on a cell phone feels a little strange; part of me feels like I need a second, cheaper case to protect the expensive case that's protecting the phone.

Generally speaking, I've been very pleased with the LifeProof purchase.  If I have any complaints about Lifeproof, it's that the case is a tad on the bulky side, and in addition to being life-, shock-, dust-, and water-proof, it's also dangerously close to being headphone-proof.  Only the newest version of the Apple headphones fit into the tiny hole that opens by unscrewing a small cover on the top of the case.  But it's already protected my iPhone on a few brushes with drops and stray liquids...


As I acquainted myself with the new phone those first few days, I had a nagging concern in the back of my mind that the iPhone acquisition might be the first step down a slippery slope.  Was this the end of simplicity for me?  Perhaps complexity would flood my existence...would I soon find myself hanging pictures on my walls?  Driving a new, tape deck-free car?  Sending text messages?  The future freaked me out.

But with more thought, I realized that the iPhone would actually move me further down the path of simplicity.  This may sound like the words of a man trying to rationalize, but stick with me on this...the iPhone is an indispensable tool, particularly when traveling.  My greatest source of frustration when I take a trip is the massive pile of electronics that I have to haul with me.  By the time I've packed all the gadgets and accessories, my carry-on bag is so full that I can't even pack a single pair of spare underwear.  I won't go into details, but let's just say things get interesting on extended trips...

In the pre-iPhone days, this is what I'd take with me on a longer trip:


In that chaotic mess, I've got a camera, wall charger, power cord; an iPod, wall charger, headphones, and power cord; a GPS, dashboard mount, and power cord; a (flip) cell phone, wall charger, and car charger; a laptop, mouse, and power cord; and an A/C converter to plug in the laptop in the car.

That's a lot of stuff to carry and keep track of on a trip.  If nothing else, the iPhone will pay for itself by avoiding checked bag fees.  Most of all, I absolutely despise pulling the laptop out when I go through airport security.  When I'm trying to take my shoes off, pull out the zip-lock bag full of liquids, and hold onto my I.D. and boarding pass, I don't want to be moving things in and out of a carry-on bag.  It's a wonder I haven't lost more stuff at the airport...

Now let's take a look at that same shot, post-iPhone:


That's just beautifully simple.  I have all of the electronic capabilities I had before, but all I have to carry are an iPhone, power cord, headphones, and car and wall chargers.  Best of all, never again will I have to take that *^#@$ laptop out in the security line.  The only potential flaw in my slimmed-down travel profile came in the form of the iPhone's tiny on-screen keyboard.  I do a lot of typing (and blogging) when I travel, and I just don't have the thumb speed to keep up with my racing thoughts on that tiny iPhone keyboard.  The same goes for the standard pen and paper--too slow to cut it.

What I needed was a full-size keyboard that plugs into the iPhone, but that's bulky and defeats the purpose of a portable handled device.  Fortunately, I tracked down an accessory that solved my typing problem:


I don't care how strange it looks when people walk by and see me with my hands below the table, furiously tapping away at my crotch.  These handy pants eliminated the one and only obstacle standing between me and ultra-light packing...just don't ask to see the joystick.

Aside from the travel conveniences, I've also justified my cellular upgrade with the incredible benefits that come from having a camera at my fingertips at all times--the iPhone is an absolutely necessity when it comes to blogging.  Not a day goes by when I don't encounter something weird or hilarious that I want to capture on camera.  In the past, taking pictures of other people was always a nerve-wracking endeavor; there was no way to hide my intentions when I pulled out my camera and pointed it at someone.  It was at great personal risk that I captured pictures like this one in Key West in 2010:


But now, it's almost scary how easily I can capture photos and videos of people with the iPhone.  I casually point the phone in their direction and pretend that I'm texting or checking email, and unbeknownst to the rest of the world, I'm capturing pictures or video clips.  By conservative estimates, it's safe to say that the phone has prevented between five and ten beatings from random angry people who don't want their picture taken by a stranger.  And in that regard, the I have little doubt that my iPhone has already paid for itself many times over in medical cost avoidance.

I have now spent five months living the wild and crazy iPhone lifestyle, and there's no going back--the features and convenience are so amazing that I know I'll never again fire up the old Moto W755.  The camera is incredible, the GPS is a life-saver, and the variety and usefulness of all the apps are stunning.  But my favorite thing about the iPhone is something that you'll never hear anyone list as a top iPhone feature--in fact, it's a feature that I even had on the W755: an alarm clock.


What's so great about an iPhone alarm clock?  First of all, I have the option to set a weekday-only alarm, which means I don't have to reset the alarm every night, and there's no risk of forgetting to set it the night before a workday.  And best of all, the iPhone gives me the option of waking up to the sound of crickets.  Getting up at 6:05AM will never be fun, but it's a little less painful to rise to the soothing sounds of crickets instead of loud, incessant chiming.

I was a little late to the game, but I clearly have no regrets about jumping on the smartphone bandwagon.  As it turns out, none of my initial concerns were justified, and I've successfully avoided that potentially slippery slope. Simplicity is still mine...my walls are bare, I'm driving a car that's closing in on "classic" status, and I even called Verizon and had them disable text messaging on my iPhone.  I'm left with just two concerns:

(1) It's rumored that Apple will release the iPhone 5 late this year. For most of the world, this is exciting news.  But for me, it's tragic--having now tasted life on the leading edge of technology, can I handle being being bumped from the front of the pack?

(2) What do I do with all of my now-obsolete electronics?  For the first time in five months, I charged up the battery on my old camera just to take the picture of my iPhone for this blog post.  That seems to be the only thing the iPhone can't do--take a picture of itself.  At least not yet...maybe the iPhone 5...